Monday, September 7, 2009

A secret no more...

On Tuesday, June 23rd, I had a feeling I might be pregnant.
Actually, on Sunday, June 21st, I had a feeling I might be pregnant!
I told myself I would have to wait a week before I took a test. I had a feeling I might be pregnant, but I had an even stronger feeling I might NOT be. And I didn't want to be disappointed, again.
Because that's been our life for nearly the past two years. Yes, Raegen is only 30 months old, but as soon as I had him I knew I wanted another one! Call me stingy, selfish, or crazy, but all I've ever wanted in life is to be a mama. When Tyler was born a picture was taken of me holding Madisyn and a friend made the comment, "you look like a mom there". He didn't know it, but he couldn't have told me anything kinder. That comment meant the world to me and I've never forgotten it.
When we were ready for children {a mere three months after we were married}, it seems the Lord wasn't ready to give us one. Oh, that waiting game was heart wrenching and on my darkest days I thought I would never have a child of my own. But the Lord was gracious and a year after we married we found out we were expecting a baby.
Raegen Autrey Stain was born on February 20th, 2007 and I remember saying, "this pregnancy went quickly, but the next one will be so slow because I now know what I get in the end!"
I assumed we would be able to have another baby when we were ready. Again, the Lord had a different plan and we had some very dark days. I struggled with having a peace that the Lord wanted us to be a family of three and my desire to have another baby. It's easy to say "I want as many children as the Lord will give me" when you expect the Lord to give you many children,
not one.
So, after being told "No" month after month, I tried to prepare myself for yet another "No." I absolutely, positively could not wait a week and decided to take the test! All the while I was saying to myself, "You're going to waste a perfectly good test! It will be negative so why are you even doing this?!"
Well, surprise, surprise for me when it came back
I did a double take,
a triple take,
and probably a
quadruple take!
That thing says I AM pregnant! I was "technically" four weeks and one day...but really I was just two weeks....KWIM? :)
I quickly ran to my craft room and fabric went flying. Thirty minutes later I emerged with this t-shirt for Raegen to share the news with daddy...

I marched the little king into the living room and it didn't take Billy long to figure out the message...

I just prayed that Raegen didn't spill the beans at VBS that evening!!!

The following are some pictures of my progression...
please, PLEASE pay no mind to my white, white, WHITE legs! ha.
4 weeks; 4 days

5 weeks

8 weeks

12 weeks

Billy was able to share the news with his parents last weekend...

"Does that say what I think it says? And does that mean what I thinks it means?!"
Billy's parents were so very thrilled and upset I wasn't there to share the news with them {I had already made plans to be out of town with some friends}. They were so anxious to spread the news as well, but Billy popped their bubble when he told them they would have to keep it under wraps for a week! That's hard to do to a grandparent!
I shared the news with my family this weekend when we all met up for the Travelers last home game of the season. Here is Raegen and the unsuspecting grandparents just moments before I turn their world upside down {in a good way, of course!}.

Dad spots him first. "Hmmm, what does that say? What?"

"Wait a minute. Did that say what I think it said?" When it was confirmed that yes indeedy, it means another baby, the tears of joy started rolling {as I had expected I might add!}. :)

{Mom, I apologize ahead of time, but I just HAD to post this picture!}
If this isn't a genuine reaction, I don't know what is...

To say the least, she was ecstatic. She grabbed me and hugged me for forever as we both cried. It was wonderful. I know she and dad have been waiting for this news for a long time as well.

Mom is explaining to Madisyn exactly what my message on Raegen's tee "means".

I think she got the message loud and clear!!

Pure delight...that sums up Madisyn's reaction perfectly.
She was such a big help when Raegen was born and I'm sure she's already packed her bags in anticipation of helping with this baby!

No doubt Stacy was all smiles too. :)
Justin and Kristen were unable to be at the game, but when I told him the news he was very happy for us as well.

14 weeks, 5 days

So our secret is officially out. No more being paranoid that someone at church will notice I'm wearing "Sea Bands" or be curious as to why I've missed so much church lately or gone home early from service! :) I have been sick, sick, sick with this baby. Which is completely different from my pregnancy with Raegen. I am now 15 weeks and the sickness has slowly moved to be few and far between so I am hoping it is all behind me now. Though I truly do not mind because in my mind it just tells me things are progressing as they should!
I have no doubt in my mind that this baby is a result of answered prayer. Prayer from family and friends that knew our desire and prayed faithfully that the Lord would bless us once more. That is an incredibly humbling feeling and we are both terribly grateful that others would take our prayer and make it theirs. They were faithful when I was not and they continued to ask when I could no longer.
Because of their faithfulness, the Lord moved my mountain.
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Matthew 17:20

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If it's any help, I haven't had any dreams {like I did with Raegen, dreaming I was having a boy} and I just don't have that "feeling" with this baby. I did have severe morning sickness that lasted through week 15, quite unlike my mild morning sickness that ended at week 12 with Raegen. That info may help or confuse you more! I'm anxious to see what everyone else thinks we're having.

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